How to write a reference letter for someone else

Someone has asked you to vouch for them, and the letter you write may decide whether they get the thing. Most reference letters fail in the same way: they are warm, general and interchangeable. "Hardworking, reliable, a pleasure to work with" describes almost everyone and therefore distinguishes no one.

One concrete example is worth a paragraph of adjectives.

Before you agree

Ask yourself whether you can be genuinely positive. If you cannot, say no — kindly, early, and without a long explanation. "I don't think I'm the best person for this, and I'd hate to give you a lukewarm reference" is a complete answer, and it is a favour. A tepid letter is more damaging than no letter, because readers are trained to notice what is missing.

If you say yes, ask for: the role or programme, the deadline, their CV, and one line on what they want emphasised. People are shy about the last one and it is the most useful thing they can give you.

The structure

Who you are and your standing. Your role, and why your opinion carries weight for this.

How you know them, and for how long. "I supervised Amaka directly for two years as her line manager" tells a reader far more than "I have known Amaka for some time."

One concrete example. The heart of the letter. Something they actually did: the situation, what they did, what resulted. Include specifics — the size of the project, the deadline, the number.

What that example demonstrates. Name the quality, having earned it.

A second, shorter strength. Ideally a different kind — if the first was technical, make this one about how they work with people.

Fit for this specific thing. Connect them to the role or programme in front of you. This is the paragraph that shows you read the posting.

A clear recommendation. Unambiguous. "I recommend her without reservation" means something because "with some reservations" also exists.

An offer to be contacted. With a real email or number.

Making it specific

Weak: Chidi is a strong communicator who works well under pressure.

Better: When our largest client threatened to leave three days before a delivery, Chidi rewrote the entire proposal overnight and presented it himself the following morning. We kept the account. He was two years into his first job.

The second version never uses the words "communicator" or "pressure" and proves both.

When you have reservations

You can be honest without sabotage. Praise what is genuinely strong, and frame a real weakness as a stage rather than a verdict: "Her written work was excellent from the start; presenting to senior clients took her longer to grow into, and by the end of the year she was doing it confidently." That is a real, useful, fair sentence.

Never write a reference you would not be willing to have read aloud to the person. In several jurisdictions they can request it, and in all of them it is the right standard.

Note also that a reference must be accurate as well as fair. Employers have been found liable both for unfairly negative references and for glowing ones that omitted something material.

Length and form

One page, three to five paragraphs, 350 to 500 words. On letterhead if you have it. Signed, dated, with your title and contact details. Send it by the deadline — a late reference can void an application, and the candidate cannot chase you without embarrassment.

Common mistakes

Adjectives with no evidence. A letter so general it could be about anyone. Getting the role, the organisation or the candidate's pronouns wrong — always a sign of a recycled letter. Damning with faint praise by accident. Mentioning protected characteristics such as age, health, religion or family circumstances. Agreeing and then missing the deadline. Letting the candidate draft it and signing it unchanged, which readers can very often tell.

Practical tips

• Ask for their CV and the posting, then actually read both.
• Choose your one example before you write a word.
• Use their name several times; it stops the letter drifting into the generic.
• If you are asked to write your own reference for someone else to sign, write it in their voice and be specific rather than modest — but include only things they could genuinely say.